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When you get a rebuke
If you know that the upcoming meeting with the leader does not bode well, be mentally prepared.
When you meet the boss face to face and realize that your worst fears have come true, just hold on. Focus on some detail in the face of the angry interlocutor: on the left eyebrow or right nostril (select any part of the face near the eyes) and study it in the smallest details: hair, pores, fat, color, how it changes. The boss will not know that you are not listening to him, since your eyes are fixed on his face. He will wait for a response from you to strike again, but if you are “grounded”, he will not be able to play this game alone, and his anger will either return to him as a boomerang or run out.
Alternative: you can listen to the boss’s angry speech as you listen to the wind, noting how it grows stronger, weaker, how its speed changes. Do not concentrate on the meaning - only on the sounds flying from the lips of command. This will help you keep from responding. Applying social intelligence (avoiding open confrontation and refraining from retaliation), you show compassion not only for yourself, but also for the boss. You may still be fired, but you have protected yourself from a new dose of shame and pain.
When dealing with an irritating person
When you are bursting with anger, try to focus on the eyes of the interlocutor and notice his fear, and not perceive him as a punching bag. If you see your eyes and manage to feel his vulnerability, compassion will turn on.
When a colleague you are friends with ignores you without explanation
Pay attention to your reaction. Whatever it is, this is normal, even if your hands itch to push him or hide from everyone. When you are alone, trust your instincts and express feelings: give free rein to screaming or even tears. If you are able to sit down and focus on sensations, your brain will calm down and you will find a more rational strategy to find out what the problem is, and your old triggers will not be able to blur the picture. If your friend does not explain the reasons for his behavior, just forget that this person has been in your life. And if he tells you the truth, hold on to him: such people are very rare.
When an important working meeting coming up
Your inner state is transmitted to those who are nearby. Therefore, it is important to learn to scan it before important work meetings so that you do not unconsciously transfer your own stress and aggression to the next in the communication chain.
The ability to recognize emotions is especially important for a leader. Once you learn to restrain and accept them, not splash out on others, everyone will benefit from this. If your mind is calm, you will be able to listen, and not attack with criticism. Employees will feel they are heard. Only in this way can success be achieved without forcing people to do their job. In fact, few people really care about numbers - people care about whether someone likes them or not.
Based on "A Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled" by Ruby Wax
If you know that the upcoming meeting with the leader does not bode well, be mentally prepared.
When you meet the boss face to face and realize that your worst fears have come true, just hold on. Focus on some detail in the face of the angry interlocutor: on the left eyebrow or right nostril (select any part of the face near the eyes) and study it in the smallest details: hair, pores, fat, color, how it changes. The boss will not know that you are not listening to him, since your eyes are fixed on his face. He will wait for a response from you to strike again, but if you are “grounded”, he will not be able to play this game alone, and his anger will either return to him as a boomerang or run out.
Alternative: you can listen to the boss’s angry speech as you listen to the wind, noting how it grows stronger, weaker, how its speed changes. Do not concentrate on the meaning - only on the sounds flying from the lips of command. This will help you keep from responding. Applying social intelligence (avoiding open confrontation and refraining from retaliation), you show compassion not only for yourself, but also for the boss. You may still be fired, but you have protected yourself from a new dose of shame and pain.
When dealing with an irritating person
When you are bursting with anger, try to focus on the eyes of the interlocutor and notice his fear, and not perceive him as a punching bag. If you see your eyes and manage to feel his vulnerability, compassion will turn on.
When a colleague you are friends with ignores you without explanation
Pay attention to your reaction. Whatever it is, this is normal, even if your hands itch to push him or hide from everyone. When you are alone, trust your instincts and express feelings: give free rein to screaming or even tears. If you are able to sit down and focus on sensations, your brain will calm down and you will find a more rational strategy to find out what the problem is, and your old triggers will not be able to blur the picture. If your friend does not explain the reasons for his behavior, just forget that this person has been in your life. And if he tells you the truth, hold on to him: such people are very rare.
When an important working meeting coming up
Your inner state is transmitted to those who are nearby. Therefore, it is important to learn to scan it before important work meetings so that you do not unconsciously transfer your own stress and aggression to the next in the communication chain.
The ability to recognize emotions is especially important for a leader. Once you learn to restrain and accept them, not splash out on others, everyone will benefit from this. If your mind is calm, you will be able to listen, and not attack with criticism. Employees will feel they are heard. Only in this way can success be achieved without forcing people to do their job. In fact, few people really care about numbers - people care about whether someone likes them or not.
Based on "A Mindfulness Guide for the Frazzled" by Ruby Wax