piqsels
A focus on yourself implies that you don't blame yourself for everything, but rather distinguish between what you can control and what you can't, and give those around you the right to react at their discretion. Let’s look at several examples of shifting the focus in the right direction.
Problem: Employees are critical of the new procedure.
Outside focus: You convince everyone that it will make work easier.
Focus on yourself: You argue its pros for yourself. And you present them to your employees without trying to reassure them.
Problem: only the Kardashians are discussed at a friend's company.
Outside focus: You criticise your interlocutors for their down-to-earth interests.
Focus on yourself: You speak out on a topic that is relevant to you and listen to what you are told.
Problem: One of your employees has the lowest sales.
Outside focus: You avoid him/her at all costs.
Focus on yourself: You look at the big picture and see that you are partly to blame for the situation yourself.
Problem: You have not been invited to a party of one of your co-workers.
Outside focus: You read your colleagues' Facebook pages and think about how to please them.
Focus on yourself: You invite everyone to your home.
Based on “Everything Isn't Terrible. Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down” by Kathleen Smith
Problem: Employees are critical of the new procedure.
Outside focus: You convince everyone that it will make work easier.
Focus on yourself: You argue its pros for yourself. And you present them to your employees without trying to reassure them.
Problem: only the Kardashians are discussed at a friend's company.
Outside focus: You criticise your interlocutors for their down-to-earth interests.
Focus on yourself: You speak out on a topic that is relevant to you and listen to what you are told.
Problem: One of your employees has the lowest sales.
Outside focus: You avoid him/her at all costs.
Focus on yourself: You look at the big picture and see that you are partly to blame for the situation yourself.
Problem: You have not been invited to a party of one of your co-workers.
Outside focus: You read your colleagues' Facebook pages and think about how to please them.
Focus on yourself: You invite everyone to your home.
Based on “Everything Isn't Terrible. Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down” by Kathleen Smith